Set Safe Space, Seek to Understand, and Permission Coaching
If a person (the coachee) comes to you with a problem needing a solution … start the conversation there…then you thank the coachee for bringing up the matter and assure the coachee that your conversation is a safe conversation… no fear of anything …
then ask the coachee where he/she is now … have him/her describe the current problematic /challenging situation … be an active listener and mirror back what you have heard … paraphrase to confirm understanding… prime a response for your question if the coachee remains non-responsive to your question … remember this acronym: AMPP (Ask, Mirror, Paraphrase, Prime)… seek to understand …
then ask if you have his/her permission to respond and provide feedback as a coach. Unsolicited coaching is not cool … if you do not have the expressed permission from the coachee for you to inject some coaching, don’t do it…
Seth Godin — the best marketing guru IMHO — understood this: nobody pays attention to tv commercials and flyers anymore — where they shout at your face about whatever they are peddling; therefore, have a conversation with the right client; build a relationship overtime…this way, you can sell to them much more effectively.
This translates to permission coaching … like this: nobody pays attention to unsolicited coaching anymore; therefore, have a conversation with the right coachee (someone who permits you to coach); build a relationship over time (rapport is important … so is trust)… this way, you can coach the coachee much more effectively.
To be continued.