Instead of asking ‘What should we do?’ ... try asking this instead: ‘What could we do?’ A group of friends entered a restaurant on a busy Saturday night. They were informed that the wait time is 45 minutes. One of the friends asked the group: ‘What should we do?’ — looking for a directive/prescriptive answer. Another friend from the group asked: ‘What could we do?’ — looking for possibilities/ideas from the group. The latter created conversations that lead to a decision by the group. The former met a dead end... silence.
After the coachee has provided where he/she is now or what the current problem /situation is... ask another powerful question... one that makes the coachee stop and think about the answer. Like: 'what do you think things would rather be? If there is a goal, what would that be? Once the current state and the future state are understood... it is time to talk about various pathways to the goal...have the coachee talk through and discover these pathways. Like: "If it is possible, what would your options be?" Help the coachee find possibilities, pathways and options. Once various pathways are…
As a coach, asking the coachee thought-provoking powerful questions is key to breaking through the mental barrier that is keeping the coachee from solving his/her own problem. But... how? There is a structure...to coaching conversations. To be continued.